That "Really God??" Moment

Has He ever asked you to give up something you really don't want to? Don't you hate those moments when you have the opportunity to walk out everything you say you believe in and you find it is harder than you thought? This year God has taken a lot of things out of my life. Relationships have changed, plans have changed, and even dreams have changed. Some of it was easier to let go than others. For the most part though, it was easy for me to trust that He knows better. I trusted that He knew best when I got into State. I learned to trust that He knew best when my car was totaled. I even leaned on Him when life shattering tragedy struck from out of nowhere. Having such confidence in Him is comforting. However, I began to feel prideful as if it was something I had under control. Lean on Him? Check! I so have that one down. Well, you know what they say... Pride comes before a fall. One thing I have been learning while going through the whole pledging process is that I'm not good at not being perfect. I am even good at making my faults sound like a positive thing. Meeting with so many girls and hearing their amazing, crazy stories I realized that being perfect is neither exciting nor endearing. So, I asked to be humbled. Ask and it shall be given to you. At first, the whole humbling process was totally doable for me. It was basically like being blessed so much that you begin to feel like you don't deserve it. So many blessings have been poured out on me in the past month. But now comes the true test... He is asking me to give up something that in reality is already His. I know in my head that I'm not in control. I know that He works for the good of those who love Him. And yet, everything inside me wars against relinquishing my plan. That's where I'm stuck for now, and I'm not sure what else to say. I'm not into the whole sharing every emotion and detail of your life on the internet; therefore, this is all terribly vague. However, I don't want anyone to think I'm doing anything bad or that I'm going to do something insane. So, if you are like me and curiosity runs through your veins just ask and I would be glad to share with you what is going on. If not, then I hope that whoever reads this can relate and finds comfort in knowing that we are all equally as clueless. My ultimate wish is that this blog points all you faithful bloggees directly to Him.